Reflection is always challenging for me. It requires honesty and insight and a moment to breathe. Sitting here watching my babe sleep it seems like a lifetime ago that I stepped through the chiropractic office in Kingston and began this journey to becoming doula with Doula Canada.
My path to becoming doula started from pain and desperation. That is hard to admit. I was burnt out in my job, desperately trying to get pregnant and seeking anything that could help. Social media lead me to a fellow birth professional and instructor, and in turn led me to Doula Canada. I needed hope. Hope that life could be different, that I could love what I did again, that I could be connected to pregnancy and birth even if I could never bring a child onto the planet through my body.
That weekend was both difficult and inspiring. Sitting in a room, some women with babes and some without, talking birth. I did not know a lot. I realized that weekend a passion that I had been missing for a long time. I was absorbed in learning and excited to start this new path. I dove in. Signed up for any course I could afford, bought all the required readings and started in. In 6 months I had completed all my written requirements and had 2 births scheduled. I signed up to support teen moms through Jessies Centre. I was on a mission.
My first birth was a teen mom. My connection with her was amazing. The birth was beautiful. Then I was berated by the nurse after for interfering with her relationship with the mother. I left that birth in tears. Terrified that my personality meant I could not do this. I realize now that birth planted a seed of doubt I would find hard to shake. A voice in my head that was fed through my personal struggles. One that would get in the way of stepping into my vision.
I attended many more births, holding on to the ideal but there was a voice that kept telling me there is no way you could make a living at this. It stalled me. I started to question my validity as a birth professional, the viability of this as a career, and I was drowning in personal pity.
Then, what feels like a miracle happened. I got pregnant. Life got real. Do I return to a job that leaves me depleted or do I dive into something that has the potential to feed my soul and offer me the time to be with my child. More barriers to work through, more junk, but then it clicked. I needed to shed my skin, that happened literally and emotionally for me. Now was the time. Jump in or let go.
Now I have 2 beautiful girls ( one newbie at 3 months old) and I am an Instructor at Doula Canada. My passion for birth and postpartum evolves with each new turn of this career. I LOVE teaching and sharing wisdom with the diverse community that attend our trainings. I love my littles and am a bit of a TV queen. ( Who doesn't love to escape into some trashy TV?)
My route to certification is not an unusual one. Often, life gets in the way. Working as a doula is not an easy path. Life on call, hustling to build your business. It can be bumpy. It definitely was for me.
So why Doula?
Passion is only part of the process. If you love birth and all things baby then that is a great start. This work is rewarding and filled with both those things. You will walk away from most births glowing with excitement, but let’s get real.
Interested in sharing your thoughts on the Doula Canada page?